By Jack Stratton

Truth be told, Elise didn’t even really like him. That’s not to say she wasn’t already wet when she got off at his subway stop and climbed the familiar stairs into the lingering evening sun. She hadn’t been to his apartment in weeks. She hadn’t walked through the dirty streets of his neighborhood, next to the big school with the high metal fence and the little stores with the weird religious candles and the exotic smells.

All right, maybe she liked him in some weird way. He could be a good friend, in his own fashion, if he wanted to, but he was so very full of himself sometimes, so very Mark. They had dated for a while around two years ago, and maybe they were even in love for a couple of minutes, but Mark was an ass and that all disintegrated quickly. He was a much better fuck than he ever was a boyfriend.

Mark could be a good listener too, when he was in the mood. If he got interested in what you were saying and thought your little problem was entertaining he could set his mind to solving it. He was an egomaniac, but sometimes that gave him the detachment to give you really insightful advice. Also, he was outstanding in bed.

Sometimes you want to fuck someone you’re not in love with. It’s good to have someone like that who you can trust. And then there was the fact that Mark always had a way of making things dirty. Elise craved that sometimes. More than craved it, she needed it. As she walked down his block, she knew that this was one of those times.

It was hard to ask someone new for those things. When you are falling for someone, and you want everything to be perfect, and so you can’t have the awkward conversations about how you needed to be held down or spanked or called a slut or more.

Mark knew all her boundaries, though. He read her like a book and said out loud all the dirty things that were in her head and made her blush. He made her blush! Elise was always the bold one, the brash one, but Mark could make her feel like a veritable prude sometimes. And as much of an asshole as he was, he never crossed her lines. He knew just from looking in her eyes what she needed and what was too much. That kind of connection could take years to create, and there was no reason to waste it just because they couldn’t make a relationship work.

The truth was, she had met someone the day before. The truth was, every time she thought about this new guy she melted a little and her knees almost gave, and her heart started pounding. This guy was serious, though, no one night stand. This guy was amazing.

Elise swooned as she pictured him. He was tall and handsome and so very gentlemanly. He worked for some kind of not-for-profit organization, he recycled, he was a genuinely nice person. He had good skin and a crooked smile and used big words and had a nice ass.

Her stomach dropped. There were things she needed though and she wasn’t sure someone so “nice” could give them to her. She thought about Mark, who certainly wasn’t a bad person. Mark who drank too much and make crude jokes about horrible tragedies. Mark who admitted to a somewhat criminal youth. There was also Mark with the bookshelf full of interesting things and his world-traveling past, and there was the fact that his cockiness was all bullshit and he was actually very humble about how smart he really was.

She thought about the last time she saw Mark, his hand in her hair, his body on hers. There was something that pushed the moments in his apartment to hyperreality. The way he half-closed his red curtains which made the light from the street glow crimson on his white walls.

Halfway to Mark’s apartment Elise’s phone vibrated. Pulling it out of her bag, her heart was beating hard. It was like being in high school again.

“It was cool meeting you. I’m kind of really excited about our date,” said the text message.

Elise stopped walking and let out a happy little noise. Then she looked around quickly to make sure no one heard her. Swooning she looked up to see Mark’s building, an old brownstone with a sort of ominous array of little angels and demons carved into the staircase and windowsills.

She texted back from Mark’s hallway. “I’m pretty excited too. Can’t wait. See you soon.”

She rang his bell twice without an answer. She knew he was home because he had buzzed her up. When he opened the door she saw his familiar face a bit stubbly, his graying hair a bit messy, the piercing blue eyes never focusing on her entirely. He nodded hello to her, “give me like five minutes, okay?”

Elise stood confused at the door as he quickly walked back into the apartment and picked up a book on his big leather chair and started reading something intensely. She came in, looking around a little confused. The apartment was cool, with a fan in the window and the evening air flowing in. It was tidy but cramped with stuff. Books, computer parts, a couple of leather floggers peeking out from under the Sunday Times.

Walking around the room, she saw things she remembered. There had been three months when she was sleeping over every night. The salad days when she learned how badly he snored and how decadent his breakfasts were. She smiled at the little box of Peruvian Worry Dolls he’d told her the secrets of one summer night.

She jumped when she heard the thump of a book closing. Turning around she saw Mark get up from the couch and stretch.

“Okay. Sorry, I was in the middle of this… intense chapter.”